Relationship Advice

Relationships with either your family, friends, or the opposite gender is good to have. But you need to know the difference between a healthy and an unhealthy relationship. This blog give you advice from our point of view on healthy and unhealthy relationships with friends.

Healthy Relationships Have...

Understanding:
In a relationship (such as, friendships) you and your friends need to understand each other so on one is being harassed or bullied in the group because of you friends beliefs or pinions. Additionally, if friends can understand each other then you know each other's strengths, weaknesses, personalities, and much more. You need to understand your friends own qualities to build trust and respect in the group.

Boundaries (Personal Space):
Your own personal boundaries and your friends (or life partners) is very important to understand because you don't ever want to feel that someone has crossed you boundary or make someone feel uncomfortable by crossing theirs. Your personal space or in other terms your boundaries are not only physical boundaries but verbal boundaries. Physically you may be harassed by someone constantly touching you or it can be verbally when someone takes a joke or comment too far, as in insulting your family in a not such nice way. But, this is crossing your boundary in one way or another.

No Fighting:
Fighting with friends is not a pleasant thing to do. But to have a good relationship with your friends you need to be able to understand each other and disagreements easily. In life you will have disagreements with friends so you need to be able to not take a small disagreement to a high level where you're fighting verbally at each other in a not so kind way. Remember that friends will always be there for you and losing a friend to a disagreement can mean losing that friend forever.


Co-operation:

Co-operation is the willingness to help each other and working as a team. You listen to each other’s ideas and opinions and give positive feedback. You don’t put people down and listen to everyone. You’re willing to help others when needed, even voluntarily. Co-operation is essential. If two or more people can’t co-operate, then it leads to arguing and an unhealthy relationship.

Good Communication with Friends and Families:

Good communication with friends and families is very important to keep happiness between each other. Without good communication, it is hard to understand each other. Understanding each other and respecting each other are both important ways to keep good communication between them. Talking to each other about your problems or listening and helping each other when you have problems will also increase good communication.

Happiness:

Happiness is very important in a healthy relationship. Being happy in a relationship means both people care for each other. Both people aren’t angry all the time. They have a positive attitude. Sometimes a relationship lacks happiness because of a lack of understanding of each other. If both partners can learn to understand each other and accept each other for their differences in opinion, then the happiness level in the relationship will go up and the relationship will become healthier.

Respect to your classmates:
In a good healthily relationship, you should respect all your classmates, even though you aren't friends with them, or that you don’t like for some reasons. When respecting your classmates, you can help each other, ask those questions, that you aren't sure about, or you can simply ask if you could hang with them! Starting this, you could make new friends or you can have someone to talk to, during free time! I know for sure, that I have many new friends like this! 

Honesty:

Would you want your partner to lie to you all the time? You ask him/her what’s wrong, and they tell you there’s nothing wrong, BUT CLEARLY THERE IS! Honesty is ONE of the MOST important things in a good relationship, I know for sure I wouldn’t. You wouldn’t want to push them, asking them questions ALL THE TIME, but, try to give them some space/time to think things over. But most likely, if you don’t  tell anyone what’s wrong with you, sooner or later, your friends or partner, would start to drift away and your partner would break up with you because he/she might think that he/she is not important in their lives.

When I was thinking about this, I made a text-to-text connection. I read a book called Lock and Key. The main character, Ruby’s boyfriend, Nate, was being abused by his father. During Valentine’s Day, Nate was ONE HOUR late for their date, and Ruby noticed that Nate had a bruise. Ruby would ask him what’s wrong but Nate would not tell her. Nate kept ignoring the fact that Ruby and his ex-girlfriend Heather( his ex-girlfriend, who broke up with because he wouldn’t tell him what’s wrong) were trying to help him. Ruby then decides to break their relationship. Later in the novel, Ruby finds out Nate had ran off, Ruby finds Nate, in an apartment and tells him to home back home and they hug. Ruby told Cora, Ruby’s older sister and Jamie, Cora’s husband, about Nate. Cora and Jamie decide that it’s safer if Nate stays with them for a while, until they call his mom. In the end, Ruby and Nate stay as friends and Nate goes to live with his mom and his stepfather. 


Acceptance: 

Have you ever moved to a new school and you felt like you don’t belong? Or that you don’t think your pretty or handsome? Try to accept yourself first, then start dating people or start to have more faith in yourself. It’s better than to accept yourself, then accepting friends you don’ t start at all!

Unhealthy Relationships Have...

Obsession/ Stalking:
Never be too obsessed with being with your friends or someone you are with because you will start to forgetting about your family and maybe your values in your life. Plus, when you get overly attached to someone you may start to follow them everywhere or start doing the same things they do. You need to be yourself in a relationship with friends or someone because they will only accept you if you are yourself.

Jealousy/ Backstabbing:
Jealousy and backstabbing are the main reasons to why a good relationship goes bad. For example, if a group of friends is always trying to be better than someone in the group than there isn't a solid friendship at all. Jealousy and backstabbing doesn't build trust or honesty in the group it tears it apart like wild animals tearing apart their prey. This can leave bad memories in the group like a scar on your body and an uneasy feeling near one, another.

Lack of Communication:
Communication with friends helps bring each other together. When you can't understand what is being said in the group (lack of communication) then you can't tell from the lies  or from the truths. In a group you need to know what is being said in the group because if some information (personal secrets and such) gets out of the circle because of the lack of communication then there will be a lot of anger and distrust in the group since the information got out when it wasn't supposed to get out. Remember to talk with your friends and build a strong foundation in you friendship or other relationships.


Disrespect:

Disrespect is hate. Disrespect from one partner directed at the other is a serious sign of an unhealthy relationship. If you disrespect someone, then they will think of you the same way. Learning to respect each other means using a positive attitude toward each other and listening to each other’s opinions and ideas. Respecting someone you dislike is hard to achieve, but getting to know someone better might make you respect them, and they will respect you as well. 


Arguing:

Arguing is when two or more people can’t respect or understand each other. Resolving this issue starts by realizing why you are arguing and if it is worth arguing about, then talking about it. Make sure you understand each others opinions so you won't argue any more. Arguing never solves the issue, but talking about it can. Arguing lowers the happiness level of the relationship and makes it unhealthy.

Cheating/Affairs:

How would you feel if your partner was cheating on you? OR, how about your wife/husband was having an affair with another person? I would feel heartbroken, wouldn’t you? Of course! Cheating and having affairs with someone is one of the unhealthy things in a relationship. It is one of the worse things in a relationship! Let’s just say that you were having a great relationship for 2 years? While you are out with your friends and you turn around, and you see your partner lock lips with another person! Or you are having a nice family dinner, going to a nice restaurant, and your wife is late working, and you see your wife, out with another man, laughing and having the time of her life. You tell yourself that they’re just friends, but them you see your wife, lean in, kissing him. Cheating usually occurs when your boyfriend have moved to another part of the country. Your boyfriend tells you that they will love you forever and ever, and you both decide to have a long distance relationship. He tells you that he will try to come and visit you as often as ever. But when 3 months pass by, you call him everyday and he tells you that he’s busy. But when you convince your parents to visit your boyfriend, just for the weekends. You don’t tell him because you want it to be a surprise. When you wander around the city and you see a familiar guy and you see him holding hands with another girl. You realise that that is your boyfriend! Your heart breaks, your on the verge of tears, you run off, crying. Feeling ashamed, stupid for buying a plane ticket to see your boyfriend.

Madness/Addiction/Drugs/Murder/Violence:

Madness can lead to addiction to drugs, to you murdering someone you love or putting your hands on someone! Madness is usually when you were abused when you were younger, making you feel like you should hurt the ones you love or you start to control your loved ones. Drugs are usually the main cause of this, drinking is one of the worse! Drinking alcohol can make you down and when you drink too much, you might end up, doing things you never intended to do in the first place. Murder can led to stress or that you might be being bullied at school, and you’ve had enough. You decide to bring a knife to school, just to protect yourself. But it can lead you too stabbing that person. Don’t put hands on to your partner, don’t grab them, beat them up physically, verbal abuse them, don’t do anything that you lead you to hitting them. Putting hands on is called sexual assault. Or harassment. You will be put into jail if you put hands on to your partner. You don’t want to be hurt after a date, right? NO! Then, start choosing people that you know you will trust, someone who will be gentle with, someone who will listen to you thoughts and feelings, someone you love.

Discrimination:

What is discrimination? Discrimination is unfair treatment of one person or group, usually because of prejudice about race, ethnicity, age, religion of gender. I wouldn't want to be judged because of my race or my skin colour. You wouldn’t want to come to school, everyday, having everyone laugh at you because of your skin colour. Wouldn’t you want friends who will respect everything bout you? A friend who wouldn’t care about where you come from? A friend who won’t laugh at you, because you’re a certain skin colour? I know for sure I would love to have a friend like that!

Links:
B2ST - Fiction English Sub MV
Taeyang - Wedding Dress
SE7EN - Going Crazy English Sub (Starring Park Han Byul)